Since May 21st, 2011, my wife and I have been separated for a total of 8 months. Last May, I left Virginia for the UK at the suggestion, and willingness of me, in order to settle. My wife didn't arrive in the UK until October 7th, 2011. That is 139 days of separation. Since my wife did not have a settlement visa, she was only allowed entrance to the country for 6 months on a visitation visa. During that time we knew that she would probably have to go back to the United States to apply for the permanent settlement visa. However, we always hoped that we would be able to avoid that.
However, after constant probing and asking and more probing of the UK Border Agency, we finally received an ultimate answer. Yes, she would have to leave.
That fateful day arrived on April 6th, 2012. Today is July 9th, 2012. Separated for 94 days and counting. Since that day in May, we've been separated for 233 days. That is roughly 64% of the past year. A very long time.
Due to all this separation, I feel that the Lord has done some amazing work. First of all, I'm back in His fold. Not only is my walk much stronger than it was over a year ago, but I'm also consistently going back to church and participating in home group. This is a huge improvement than when I first left Virginia. However, I also know that the Lord is still working in my life and I have a long ways to go before I am the man He wants me to be.
Secondly, I am starting gather a much deeper appreciation for my lovely wife. It is funny how you tend to take things for granted until they are taken away from you. Don't get me wrong, I have always, and will always love my wife. She is a wonderful woman and I am very fortunate to have her as my wife, partner and friend.
However, despite this love, I haven't been the greatest of husbands. My temper has caused me to lash out against my wife in ways that was hardly fair to her. For those incidents I am deeply sorry, and wished I could take back. Unfortunately I can't. The Lord is working on my temper, but I am far from being where I need to be. But we are constantly a work in progress. I continue to pray, and I am sure my wife is as well, that the Lord will change my nature, because only He can. I know I sure can't.
Saturday night, my loneliness for my wife really hit me. I miss her so much. 8 months of separation, albeit not continuous, is a long time. I miss waking up next to her. I miss her hair constantly tickling my nose when we sleep. I miss her warmth. I miss the smile she gives me. I miss her laughing at the stupidest and silliest of things. I miss her attempts at jokes and failing miserably.
So I pray, Lord, please give the UK Border Agency a good kick in the ass and have them grant her visa quickly. I miss my wife and want her back at my side. I know my kids do as well. Amen.
Paul, that was such a sweet testament to your love for your wife and I will pray in agreement with you that your family be back together soon!! I love and admire your honesty in regards to your short comings and I believe that God will give you the desires of your heart because you are praying for His will for your life and your family. I think that alone is a blessing and thank you for sharing your heart!! May God do a mighty work in you and your entire family!! God bless you all, and I agree, Carol is a beautiful soul, inside and out and I miss her too!!
ReplyDeleteThank you, I appreciate it. I also appreciate the prayers. Hehe, can't have enough people praying for each other. The power of prayer is tremendous indeed. :)
ReplyDeleteI would like to think there is some appeal you could make on the grounds of maintaining a healthy marriage. Although you testify to the good coming out of this, praise God, long separations have a downside, too, that the "authorities" must take into account. Is this what our health care is going to be like? Anyway, we all know Who is really in charge! (uh..not "The Who", but "God" is what I meant. I know The Who have great influence in the UK but....)
ReplyDeleteIt is true that maybe we could have made an appeal on the grounds of maintaining a healthy marriage, but the British government is a huge bureaucracy that is very difficult to navigate. Not that the United States was any better.
ReplyDeleteHowever, God has everything under control, including this.
Hehe, I like The Who reference. Except you probably should have said "had a great influence" rather than "have." I don't think many of the younger generation even know who they are. :P